Relationships take work and most of us spend more time trying to avoid them for the wrong reasons. Relationships don't dry out and end because that person lacks ethic or because they changed, they simply end because we lack understanding. We spend so much time placing blame; and the truth is, that we were never really taught what healthy love really is or how to achieve it. We all make mistakes, and we all have a past, so why do we keep making the same mistakes. The answer is obvious; "bad habits" are the reason, but the question is, how do we change that? Take some time to understand what went wrong, find the roots to the problem, and if you realize you did something wrong, apologize immediately.
Here is a list of things you need to be careful not to do:
Don't Force intimacy - respect and understand that even though you have desired needs, so does your mate. There may be a very good reason why they are not being as intimate so don't presume you know what they need. The best way to handle this issue is ask and comfort.
Do NOT expect your mate to read your mind - even though you think you know each other very well, if you had a bad day, say so, don't expect for your mate to figure it out and just give you a break. They too may have had a bad day, furthermore, they may not have their mighty "psychic" cap on.
Do Not assume you are always right. Don't assume anything at all -Ask first. It works. There may be a good reason why, so before you go all crazy and cause yourself more stress then what it worth, ask.
Do not take your mate for granted - relationships become so comfortable that sometimes we settle into habits. When you begin to view your mate as the babysitter or the dishwasher then it is time to change chores.
Do not become so dependant on your mate - this can lead to many problems.
Take responsibility for your own actions, and stop playing the blame game. Attract more positive thoughts to yourself, and abandon all the negative. Take charge of your own happiness and challenge yourself to do better everyday.
We live and we learn, when you fail try to learn from it so you don't make the same mistakes again. Take some time to comprehend what went wrong before starting something new. The definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting the same results; so find the root, and stop the problem from repeating itself.
-Kelly Kortright
